I chose the phrase Men’s Work for this section with common narratives in mind.

This is what I hear:

•  It is really hard to get men into therapy.

• When men present it can feel challenging to keep them engaged.

• Men come to therapy for specific issues, expecting tangible results and visible timelines.

• The majority of men come to therapy because someone has told them to.

• Most men don’t open up or share their feelings.

• Men are not accessing the support that is out there for them.

There’s definitely some truth in the above, but generalisations hide stories from societies rather than implications for individuals.

This is what I actually see:

• Men often come to therapy as a logical step in their healing process.

• Men have tried a new job, partner and fitness regime but still something is not right.

• Men can be challenging because their defences are so solid, but once a strong rapport is built, they will go unexpectedly deep.

• If a man comes to therapy for someone else, they will drop out, but if they attend for themselves, they will scaffold change around them.

• Men can show huge vulnerability and courage, as well as holding themselves to account with integrity, but often they will not want this to be witnessed.

• Much of the support offered to men is known not to be appropriate, yet still men are blamed for not sorting themselves out, rather than society building research-led initiatives.